It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money.
Before you were born I carried you under my heart. From the moment you arrived in this world until the moment I leave it, I will always carry you in my heart.
People often ask me, "What's the difference between couple hood and babyhood?" In a word? Moisture. Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry.
A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase.
One of the most obvious results of having a baby around the house is to turn two good people into complete idiots who probably wouldn't have been much worse than mere imbeciles without it.
Life is a flame that is always burning itself out, but it catches fire again every time a child is born.
The smile that flickers on baby's lips when he sleeps does anyone know where it was born? Yes, there is a rumor that a young pale beam of a crescent moon touched the edge of a vanishing autumn cloud, and there the smile was first born in the dream of a dew-washed morning.
Babies are always more trouble than you thought and more wonderful.
Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.
In the sheltered simplicity of the first days after a baby is born, one sees again the magical closed circle, the miraculous sense of two people existing only for each other, the tranquil sky reflected on the face of the mother nursing her child.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
Babies are such a nice way to start people.
Every baby needs a lap.
Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time.
When babies look beyond you and giggle, maybe they're seeing angels.
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race.
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